I've tried avoiding this topic.
It's tough for me. It's complicated. I'm not even sure who are my friends anymore. I have 3 groups of friends.
There's the olddddddddddd friends. The ones from kindergarten to grade 4. Then I moved schools, leaving them behind. When I left, I didn't really have any social media, so we lost touch. I some of them again about 2 years later, but things changed. We got our contact information but we're not close like before.
Then there's the half-old friends. When I moved schools, I made even better friends. I love them so much and I don't want to lose them. But I feel like I'm losing them already. I moved again, farther away and I hardly ever talk with some of them anymore. I don't want to lose you.
Now I'm at my new school. I don't know what friends are. I don't know who to consider as friends, middle school's confusing. I know people, I like them, we talk. But are we friends? I honestly don't even know anymore. Friends is just a confusing topic. Do they like me? I sometimes feel like, ugh, I don't know how to describe it. I feel like I don't belong, like they're being forced to hang out with me.
Some of my old friends have asked me whether I've made friends. In fact one of them has been serious about it. The thing is, I don't want to say I made new friends. In fact, I hate talking with my half-old friends about my new friends. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt them. I'm afraid that if I say I've made new friends then I'm going to move on. Then I'm replacing them. I don't want to lose them, so I'm afraid of making new friends.
This is like my first serious post.
My feelings are complicated.
I doubt I'll post something like this again.
Thanks for listening (reading) though.
It was nice to get this all out.